[0:00:01] Emily: Hey Lois. What did the robber say to the baker?

[0:00:08] Lois: The robber said to the baker? Mhm. I don’t know.

[0:00:13] Emily: Give me all your dough? Mm

[0:00:15] Lois: Gosh, it’s so bad. Uh

[0:00:19] Emily: What did what is the giraffe’s favorite fruit?

[0:00:25] Lois: I don’t know

[0:00:28] Emily: neck three. I’m sorry,

[0:00:32] Lois: those are so bad. It was so bad. Those are so bad. I think we decided to start the episode with your dad jokes tonight. Oh my gosh, if anybody’s out there listening, please hang on, it gets better. Okay, what’s your what’s your next dad joke

[0:00:50] Emily: knock knock.

[0:00:52] Lois: Who’s there

[0:00:54] Emily: interrupting cow

[0:00:57] Lois: interrupting cow moo. Yes, that’s bad. Like I can’t believe that I even let you tell these girl, you have got to step up your game. It’s this friday you are going up against brian Edwards. Who I believe said on social media this week that he was born. Ready. So I’m thinking I am

[0:01:28] Emily: a little nervous.

[0:01:29] Lois: Yeah, I could tell with the with the mooing and stuff man, this crowd is brutal. Yeah, sorry. And I’m and I’m and I’m a crowd of one right now until we have listeners. So if you’re listening to this episode, I promise you by this time it airs Emily will have probably beat brian Edwards at the R. F. Hands down. Yeah. Hands down. Yeah. So oh my gosh! Welcome to the R. F. W. P sister seeker podcast where we are seeking truth and finding God’s heart? I am your host Lois Mcnair and with me is my co host

[0:02:16] Emily: Emily Lewis?

[0:02:19] Lois: Emily. Do you have a micro joy this week?

[0:02:24] Emily: You know my micro joy is I really enjoyed getting up early this morning and I got I’m serious. I’m sorry. This

[0:02:34] Lois: is because like you would you’ll never hear me say that my Micro joy was getting up early. That’s like such an oxymoron for my life. I’m sorry. I totally took your moment. Yeah. Well you’re good. That

[0:02:52] Emily: was basically it. I’m I’m feeling better. I had a cold. Well everybody knows we had a cold like three weeks ago. Do

[0:02:59] Lois: we have a wait? Did we share cold? How do you do that virtually?

[0:03:03] Emily: I have no idea where we

[0:03:05] Lois: managed to do so at a cold too And it was not Covid I tested negative. So no Covid just a cold.

[0:03:13] Emily: So anyway, getting up early and you know, I know you’re not an early bird and that’s why I didn’t even invite you to the weekly chat and pray.

[0:03:25] Lois: All right

[0:03:28] Emily: now. You had a lot of life going on too. But I just knew you weren’t going to be showing up to no zoom call to do anything at seven a.m. Your time. But anyway, that’s kind of an aside. But that has been such a joy in my week. So what are you

[0:03:46] Lois: Doing when you wake up and have a 7:00? What what is it that you’re

[0:03:51] Emily: oh that chat just getting on zoom and praying with other ladies and so far. No guys have shown up say it’s welcome to anybody but spend ladies women praying and reading some scripture together, sharing our burdens and speaking some life over each other.

[0:04:10] Lois: So fun! Well you do realize we are part of the recovering fundamentalist network, shout out to the RFP network of podcasts. So it’s gonna take a hot minute for some of the guys to realize that we’re all in this together and they can show up to those things as well. But I do have to give a shout out to you know, well I’m not going to name names but we do have a few guys that have just been super encouraging about about our ministry and what we’re trying to do. So that’s according to grow Joey,

[0:04:48] Emily: what is your micro joy this week?

[0:04:50] Lois: So my micro joy this week is literally shout out to Melinda right? Um for sharing in our RFP fan page about Micro Joy Mondays. I love it, it’s just so fun and I love the fact that she’s using that from our micro joys and passing it along because I think it’s cool. So yeah my micro joy is the fact that Melinda right is passing along the micro joy Mondays. Beautiful, so fun, we love you Melinda.

[0:05:35] Emily: Now it has been like I said a few weeks since you and I got to sit down just the two of us and record. So

[0:05:44] Lois: what’s

[0:05:45] Emily: been going on in your world grandma Lois,

[0:05:50] Lois: wait, how much time do we have tonight?

[0:05:54] Emily: No kidding,

[0:05:55] Lois: oh my God. Oh my gosh! Um for those of you who have been following Emily’s updates or if we’re friends on facebook and you’ve seen my updates. Um you’ll know that a little over a week ago our family went through, went into emergency mode and our oldest son and daughter in law called us um babies size was decreasing, mama had high blood pressure and so um got a plane ticket and took off to Nashville and in about 48 hours we had an emergency c section and Haley um brought little Marlow into the world and when I say little Oh my gosh, she was 800 and 80 g which is a pound and 14 ounces in some change, so to speak. 13, wow. Yeah. And so um I won’t go into all the details tonight, I think we’re going to talk about it a little bit more um at the meet up this weekend when you and I record live there, but I just want to say thank you to all of our listeners and all of those on social media that have prayed faithfully. Formica and Haley and marlo and I just man y’all just, you don’t even know um of course we are immensely thankful for the outcome and marlo is growing and she’s doing well. Um but I just, I want to thank you for your faithfulness in prayer to us and Emily, I’m gonna thank you for just keeping everybody up to date when I was just kind of like in a spiral there for a little bit and hands on deck and trying to take care of you know. Mhm Absolutely.

[0:08:14] Emily: Yes,

[0:08:15] Lois: yeah, so thank you guys, Marlowe is um she is growing, she’s doing well and I’ll continue to post things so you can have an update but I’ll I will ask you to continue to pray because um we’ve been told that it will be solid two months in the Nicu and um so as I told my kids last weekend this is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. So I’m going to ask you guys to continue to marathon your prayers because it’s not over

[0:08:52] Emily: right? Absolutely, she’s so tiny and wonderful and just seeing the pictures of her on Hayley’s chest and hand tucked into the color of my kids t shirt, like oh my heart just

[0:09:07] Lois: yeah, yeah and it’s just awesome. We actually got a little family yeah uh video today where she’s um got a little reflex smiling going on. And a lady was really sweet on Hayley’s post and said she doesn’t believe in reflex smiles in newborns or in preemies. She’s actually a micro preemie um that she believes that those are God winks. So I thought that was super sweet,

[0:09:40] Emily: So fun, so sweet. But

[0:09:44] Lois: so yeah, Oh you know what um well maybe I should wait until the, until we talk about it at the at the live recording before I tell you what my grandma name is.

[0:09:58] Emily: You’re going to keep us in

[0:09:59] Lois: suspense. I am. I am

[0:10:03] Emily: yeah, all right, fine.

[0:10:07] Lois: Speaking

[0:10:08] Emily: of live recording, we are headed to the RFP fam meet up in bourbon Missouri this weekend.

[0:10:19] Lois: I can’t wait. Uh huh I

[0:10:24] Emily: can’t wait to see you in person hug everybody’s neck and mm smb just such a sweet time.

[0:10:32] Lois: Yeah, I cannot wait. Yeah, thursday night friday cannot get here fast enough and looking forward to seeing some of you guys. Um some of our listeners there. I wish everybody could come but I’m looking forward to those that can make it. Mhm

[0:10:56] Emily: can’t wait to hang out in person and get to know you guys as faces and hear your stories and love on you guys to be so cool. And before we jump into we have a bit of a hot take and then our topic but before

[0:11:17] Lois: little

[0:11:20] Emily: teaser there. Uh but before we get into that, uh I wanted to shout out our amazing sponsor Kendra over at scripture flips because we love scripture flips. They make such an amazing gift. They are a small and convenient size and just perfect for keeping God’s word and the gospel at your fingertips as you go about your day. I finally I finally stashed my beloved flip in the van and I’m so excited to have it there instead of it was in my dresser drawer and you know, the whole point of the scripture flips is that they’re with you everywhere you go, you can put them on your purse or you can pin them to your car keys and I stashed it in the center console of our vehicles so that when I’m waiting in line somewhere or just, you know, when you attempted to grab your phone and scroll or something and can reach over and just read it. So that’s how I’m using my scripture flip lately. How about you? Lewis?

[0:12:29] Lois: Well I took mind with me to Nashville and just had it with me, had it with me at the hospital, any time those nerves started to come on or I, because we were in a very scary situation um there with Haley’s health and Marlowe’s health and I just saw it there in my backpack and I’m like, this is good, I’m glad this is here. So recently. That was um, a super help to me.

[0:13:03] Emily: Yeah, I think you do you have the peace flip? Is that the one you have?

[0:13:08] Lois: No, I actually have the um, Salvation flip. Mm Have the salvation flip, You know? Um, but you know, obviously the gospel goes beyond salvation. So, um, I love to speak the Gospel over ourselves all the time to remind us of who God is and what he’s done and what he continues to do in our lives. Absolutely. So thanks to Kendra because um we really appreciate her sponsorship description flips.

[0:13:43] Emily: You guys go to scripture flips dot com made it super easy for you. Go to scripture flips dot com, fill your cart with all of the flips and journals that you need for teachers upcoming year. Or maybe you want to send one to school with. You’re a student that you know, fill up your cart and then when you check out, enter our F. W. P 20 for 20% off of your order. So yeah, you guys can stock up on all your scripture flippen journal.

[0:14:16] Lois: Right? And before you know it christmas is going to be here. So go the scripture flips dot com. R F W. P 20 in your code and get your discount.

[0:14:30] Emily: Okay. Do you want to start on this hot take?

[0:14:36] Lois: You’ve

[0:14:37] Emily: been on fire on twitter?

[0:14:39] Lois: I did get lit a little bit and I can’t say as I

[0:14:44] Emily: blame you. I mean they’re coming after our people.

[0:14:49] Lois: You know you come after you come after the people that that have been a blessing. People that are are putting christ first and moving forward you come after them and you continue to come after them. And I guess as the I. F. B. Guys would say the she bears are going to come out of the woods. That was that’s a good line because you know well for one as we know the the king James version only debate was recently and I’ll just give a shout out to Nathan. Did a fantastic job. Um and I don’t like the things that took place beforehand with Cody Zorn, he just did I say his name, right? Mhm. Okay. So, you know, I don’t really say many names, but I’m telling you he groomed and manipulated his congregation the week before the debate. He used the beautiful characteristics that God gave Nathan and really the fruits of the spirit that show through Nathan and his kindness and his gentleness, his goodness, his faithfulness and basically told his congregation that um you know, basically be careful because you know, it’ll be like, oh, but he’s so nice, just totally manipulating and undermining the work of the Holy spirit. So that ticked me off. And then, you know, everybody’s like, well at least he was, you know, unbiased during the debate. No, you can’t be unbiased during a debate when you have been, well you’ve just been ugly, manipulative, um narcissistic, I’m sorry, I’m going to throw that out there before from the pulpit with your congregation to kind of make sure that when this nice guy comes in, he doesn’t quote unquote fool you that my k J. V only position is the right direction to go. You know, it was just it was just ridiculous. And then after the debate, he goes on an interview and just basically trash talks, all of the guys, all of our guys that started, that started things for this whole network to be available. You know, as he’s saying brian Edwards was saved because his dad was a good preacher, I mean he can say that, that’s not what he said, but that’s what he said.

[0:17:50] Emily: It is what he said,

[0:17:52] Lois: it is what he said and then he’s, he’s literally saying that Nathan was deceived and like I can’t remember the exact words but basically delusional about,

[0:18:10] Emily: he did not say um given over to a reprobate mind, but that was kind of the attitude he had with how we talked about how rebellious Nathan used to be and instead of going wow, look at what God has worked in this man’s life, the power of the Gospel I hear from people that what Nathan says about how rebellious he was as a teenager is true. And then I see the kind levelheaded preacher in front of me and I see, wow, what has God done instead. He just absolutely attacked um Nathan and JC’s character and

[0:18:53] Lois: absolutely,

[0:18:54] Emily: I think no boss, go ahead.

[0:18:57] Lois: So with the going back to Nathan for just a second and I um I mentioned something about this, I think on twitter. Um so and a lot of people know this, some people may not know this, but I was Nathan’s teacher when Nathan was that quote unquote rebellious teenager and I was his teacher when he was in high school. Mhm So two things come to mind. one Nathan was very intellectual as a high schooler. So I think what quote unquote rebelling from was the fact that those rules and regulations did not click with him and you have to remember this, this kid well he’s still a kid to me, but he’s not, he’s a grown man with his own family, but this kid was raised in a ruckman ICT environment read just so toxic the fact that this young man has a family who loves the Lord and he is passionate about who jesus is and he’s an intellectual scripture. I mean that ought to be something to be celebrated and in spite of the way that he was raised to some degree he is who he is today because of God’s grace. And I don’t know why I keep expecting these guys or these women that are still stuck in in legalistic environments. I don’t maybe I’m eternally optimistic, but I don’t understand why I keep expecting them to respond differently than they always respond, but I keep expecting them to get it, I guess to wake up.

[0:20:58] Emily: Yeah, I want them to wake up, I want them to see it. I mean we’ve had a whole episode on or maybe two on loving people well through this and uh one of the things that bothers me, you know, listening to even the rise and fall of mars Hill and thinking about Cody zorn and how respectful Heat portrayed himself and like Nathan said when he was there, um they were respectful to Nathan um that playing the part bugs the fire out of me because I’ve played the part before, but it is troubling to me that in our culture, in so much of Christianity were duped by that fake and we can’t sometimes see through the, oh, this is who this person is and not that they can’t change, I’m not saying that, but like that they can put on such a facade and spiritually and emotionally abused people and be two different characters is so troubling because we need to be so deeply formed and deeply rooted that we are changed by christ from the inside out and it’s not just this um, spewing hate manipulating on one end and then, you know, the other on the other end and being kind and respectful and in the middle, that’s not a fruit of the spirit, that’s a facade that’s been put on.

[0:22:41] Lois: You’re absolutely right. It’s what we used to call, I think it was either late 90s or early two thousands, mid two thousands, what we called him a poser,

[0:22:53] Emily: you know, you

[0:22:55] Lois: know, you’re a poser if if, and I’m not saying that we can’t have time to re just kind of lose it a little bit, but this is to me it was an effort, it was an effort on the sunday before the debate for him to stand in the pulpit and do what he did and then to turn around and at the debate from what I’ve heard from those that were there two b quote unquote, unbiased, and then to go right into an interview and do what he did.

[0:23:31] Emily: Yeah.

[0:23:32] Lois: And and we’re not even getting to the point when I’m going to get to it now, I think this was the tip of the iceberg. For me, this was the tipping point. Um, I guess it wasn’t the tip of the iceberg, it was it was the titanic crashing into the iceberg for me too soon, Sorry, was when he went after jaycee again, I am so tired of these guys going after J. C. I’m so tired of Cody saying that JC is not a believer and what does he base that on? You know, and I’m going Cody you in yourself, if you want to talk about fruit, you in yourself are not displaying any of the fruit of the spirit, any of it, and you’re going to say that JC is not saved. I just that’s that’s when the I guess I can say mama bear, because I’m actually older than all three of the guys, but that’s that’s when the mama bear came out and I’m like, enough is enough. You know, sometimes sometimes I don’t want to hear what these guys say, I don’t have time for it, I don’t have the head space for it, I don’t have the patience for it, but if you’re going to keep doing that, not just you attacking the guys, you know, not just that person attacking guys, but you are bringing believers along with you and you are continuing a narrative in their lives. There is going to continue to the next generation and the next generation and it has to stop. This is not what jesus came to do, this is not at all who jesus wants us to be. So yeah, I was hot this week and I’m not sure I’ve calmed down yet. Well, I think,

[0:25:49] Emily: I think it’s good to stand up for what’s right, It’s right to stand up for what’s right and to sometimes you sometimes that means you be quiet and sometimes that means you call it out. Um and I still, I still hope like another famous pastor has said from California, I hope this is the end. I hope this is close to the end of the I. F movement.

[0:26:17] Lois: His was an emotional plea um in a reverse psychology kind of way manipulative way to keep things going. But yes, I hope you are correct.

[0:26:29] Emily: God let me be one of the last generations impacted by this junk.

[0:26:34] Lois: Yeah, absolutely. I think one of my post this week was I said, what I said,

[0:26:42] Emily: as long as sin and evil in this world is there will be narratives to UNtwist. Yeah, but could could people stop feeling like God is so fearful or unapproachable or well, I know the bible says God loves me but I’m really not sure he likes me Mm could, could we get rid of that.

[0:27:10] Lois: Yeah, I heard um uh like a two minute devotional clip from tim Keller today on the U version app and he talks about that fear of the Lord and he talks about what that really means. And um, it was just, it was really good. But that is a, that is a subject for a different podcast day.

[0:27:36] Emily: So many things we

[0:27:40] Lois: could say. Yeah, so I’m just going to tell you if you ever slide up into our podcast and hear this Yeah, mm you need to know that we are not going away and I know I said it this week on twitter, like probably not going to listen to me because I’m a female, you know, and were quote unquote in their world, not supposed to say anything, but you keep coming at these guys who are giving, who have given their lives to the Lord who continue to impact lives. Um, one, you’re either completely clueless or two, you’re just dad gum jealous. I’m just gonna say it and you need to boot off. You need to back off. Yeah, who

[0:28:39] Emily: do you feel any better? I

[0:28:42] Lois: do? I gotta be honest. I do. This is the real me, y’all this is me, this is me. I’m gonna stand behind the pulpit and tell you what it is

[0:28:55] Emily: reminds me of the little graphic that Tiffany made for us. I am I FB sermons with the little pulpit,

[0:29:02] Lois: I think mike absolutely. I remember I got I got hot about something a few months ago. Um and Heidi Xander um popped up on my twitter and said, there she is and she’s back. Yeah. Anyway, I guess maybe I’ve just been to calm

[0:29:26] Emily: maybe. But thinking about what we were talking about the fakeness and the phony and the being one thing here and one thing there is actually, it does tie into what we want to talk about. So what are we talking about on Our 29th Episode Today?

[0:29:52] Lois: Talking about our true self? Mm In regards to our relationship with God, the father, God the son, God the Holy spirit.

[0:30:02] Emily: What does being our true self? Because I think when I when you first hear that, you know, what does it mean to be your true self?

[0:30:11] Lois: True self? Oh no, they’re going to start talking about the New Age movement. There was something up with those girls,

[0:30:20] Emily: right? Because that’s the first thought that comes to mind. But what why does this matter with your relationship with God? Well,

[0:30:31] Lois: I heard recently message regarding regarding this and regarding the fruit of the spirit Galatians five, and 23. And I’m going to open up my E S. B. And read it to you. I get tickled when I do that. Because Y’all I’ve been out of the legalistic IFB for 30 years and I don’t even bat an eye anymore. Um because God’s word is God’s word anyway, I’m not going to get into the debate because Nathan already settled that Um OK Galatians 5 22 and 23, but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control against such. There is no law and those who belong to christ jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the spirit, let us also keep in step with the spirit and becoming our true self as a believer is to me, coming in line lining up with who God is and the fruit of the spirit as we allow the holy spirit to continue to sanctify us to continue to purify us, then we are becoming more of our true self and who God created us to be. So that’s what comes to my mind because I don’t want to be a poser, I don’t want to be one way in this scenario and another way in another scenario. Um

[0:32:35] Emily: Absolutely, yeah. When you say true self, I think being fully me showing up without my customer service voice showing up with just just all of me and not being afraid to be open about that, not like you said, posing or putting you’re putting a front on and going, okay, I’m sure now now I can enter the throne room where now God will accept me and having that attitude, I think it’s really easy to do that in friendships. But being that full true self.

[0:33:25] Lois: Yeah. So let’s look at um Deuteronomy Chapter six. Um starting in verse four, hear O. Israel the Lord Our God. The Lord is one. You shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart, with all your soul with all your might. Mhm. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart and it goes on to talk about you shell be diligently, you shall teach them to your Children. Um You shall bind them as a sign on your hand. And people say well that’s that’s the old testament you know and um that’s part of the law and blah blah blah. Okay well if that’s the direction you’re thinking, let’s jump over here to mark chapter 12 in the new testament, Starting with verse 29. Yeah. You hear my page turn okay, Mark 1229. Um so I don’t have my glasses on. Oh wait I turned to john C I don’t have my glasses on. I am being my true self. If

[0:34:53] Emily: you want me to turn somewhere, let me know too.

[0:34:56] Lois: Yes. Um Hopefully I can find Mark 12 years. OK Mark chapter 12 starting with verse 29 jesus answered. The most important is hear O Israel the Lord our God the Lord is one and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. So jesus, Mark Mark records that jesus reminded these that were coming and asking him questions that hey, you already know this. You shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind with all your strength. I think that’s where our true self in our relationship with God begins.

[0:36:11] Emily: Yeah, I love how it’s multifaceted because we talked a couple months ago about being compartmentalized in our life and worship, how worship can be it part of our everyday, but this feels like not compartmentalizing ourselves. Like maybe my emotions aren’t are too much for God or I am just being uh like just this week released an episode on feeling like you can’t bring the small things to God or just compartmentalizing our lives to the point where were accidentally blocking God out of different spaces, whether it’s intellectually where we know God or maybe intellectually we’re just we’re just seeking the experience or whatever. Yeah, putting him into all of those pieces,

[0:37:20] Lois: right,

[0:37:21] Emily: Mr crucial.

[0:37:22] Lois: Yeah. Um and those pieces are and my pastor just recently spoke on this, but those pieces are the physical, the emotional, the social or relational, the intellectual and the spiritual, You know. So we’re talking about five parts of a component and he made the statement Jesus didn’t die to save only 1/5 of you. So it’s not just your spiritual that he’s concerned about. Yes, he wants every part of your life,

[0:38:04] Emily: wow, that’s so good.

[0:38:07] Lois: And I know for some of our listeners that could trigger a performance oriented thought process and and that is the exact opposite of what we’re trying to say. He wants every part of you because he loves you so much and he wants to have all of you. It reminds me of the song by john legend, which I love. John legend he’s got a voice like butter and john legend, the song that he’s probably most well known for is all of me loves all of you. Mm I love your curves. I love your imperfections. I love and of course he has written this song to his wife. But if you think about it for a minute, I do believe that God is saying to us by Deuteronomy Chapter six by Mark. Chapter 12 he’s saying love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul, with all your mind with all your strength. Because scripture tells us in john first john that he loved us first we love him because he loved us. So he does love all of us, every bit of it. He didn’t die for the 1/5 part. He he died for everything, past, present, future, all of us. Yeah,

[0:39:46] Emily: makes me think of vulnerability to and like when we talk about being known because you have said even to me on the podcast on air, thank you for your vulnerability. And I was like, oh well you’re welcome. I didn’t really a lot of those times, I didn’t realize I was being vulnerable because I think I am really good mm at putting forward what makes me feel comfortable or what is comfortable to share or like I know that this is a safe spot, so it’s okay to share this specific piece, but maybe not, you know, going to like I wouldn’t want to talk about this struggle Sure. And not that on air needs to be the thing. But when we’re when we have those close friendships with our tight are close knit group, being able to open up and have community with people and be truly vulnerable. Like the um the stuff where it feels scary to talk about because you’re not sure, you know, you could be rejected over it or you know those vulnerabilities, we can bring all of those little pieces to God. And we don’t have to fear rejection and we don’t have to fear that he will guilt us or even shame us. And that is that is incredible.

[0:41:15] Lois: Yeah. And and I see where where you have grown in that, where I have grown in that over the years where you have grown in that over the last few years if you guys have made your journey out of a toxic legalistic environment, but Emily, what do we say to our listeners that struggle with God, loving all of us and wanting all of us are physical or emotional or social or intellectual or spiritual and that we can easily give all of this to him and he’s not going to reject us. How do we help people? What do we say to our listeners that are still in the mindset because of what’s been drilled in them for years that God may love you, but he doesn’t like this and this and this about you or or you know, if you let anybody know this part of your life, people are going to judge you or reject you. You know, how did you get there? Like seriously? This is a process because somebody asked recently trying to just realize the love of God and I know you and I talk about the love of God a lot. But the truth is that’s what the gospel is, it’s God’s love, that’s what started the whole thing. So what do we, what do we say to our listeners who are like compartmentalizing because they’re afraid that God’s going to reject them, right?

[0:42:56] Emily: Oh man. I think it starts with those little things, the little little like trusting out with those little things and practicing bringing those vulnerabilities to God. I think it’s a muscle reflex, I can being willing to open up about a struggle and get to know God and like I mentioned to you a friend of mine shared a post. I’ll share it to our instagram too. So people can read it. But sometimes we are chasing an experience with God and this can get so easily muddled I think because we want that healing and we’re almost pursuing this healing experience and a moment with God or a feeling or you know what I’m talking about, where we almost would rather have the experience like

[0:43:59] Lois: we want the destination without taking the journey

[0:44:05] Emily: right or we want to manufacture if we do these certain steps bam I’ll have this experience will be closer and it just, it doesn’t work this way and I want to read the end of this post. Yes. Where he says, um, oh, I’m going to read. Okay, so there are so many things I could try to say to explain, but really it comes down to this, he is enough for too long. I allowed myself to believe I was seeking after him when I was actually seeking after some quote unquote experience of him, but that’s not what he wants though many today believe it is. I know because I did, you can know a lot about him and chase experiences of him and still not know him and allow yourself to be known by him, wow, may this season continue to strip away all of our striving after God that we meet, we may actually be known by him because we think that striving is good, so

[0:45:13] Lois: good. Yes, we’ve talked about that before. Like the striving and the business and the all of this, you know, is we were kind of like a badge of honor, you know. But it goes back to Passages that we’ve spoken on before Psalm 139. I mean, David literally starts out, Lord, you have searched me and known me and we know that that word known there. And it’s mentioned several times in that passage comes from the word yoga, which is an intimate knowledge. So here’s the thing, we are already fully known by the father, I don’t understand and we do this, we are fully known by him. He knows everything about us, scripture says he knows The number of the hair on her head, he knows everything. Someone 39 talks about, you knew me before I was formed during the intricate weaving in my mother’s womb. So he already knows all of the physical, emotional social, the intellectual, the spiritual, he knows all about us. Yeah. And he still came, he still sent his son, God the son to die on the cross because he loved us that much right. You know, And David, in that passage talks about, um, if I go to the heavens, you’re there, if I go to the depths you’re there. If I go to the far side of the sea, you’re there. Well, you know, I think a lot of our listeners, if that passage was taught in their church, it was taught like, you know, God’s watching everything. You do be sure your sins will find you out, kind of hanging it over your head. And I don’t think that’s the context that David was trying to express at all. You know, he just being completely genuine in saying Lord, I am completely known by you. Yes. And he tells him all this, and then as we get to the end of the passage, he talks again and says basically search me again and see if there’s any grievous spirit in me. Because why, when we love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, we want every part of us to be changed by the gospel, to be changed to be a person with the fruit of the Spirit, be a person, you know? Yes, there is such a thing, like we had a hot take earlier today on the episode and and I call that righteous indignation, because, you know, there’s a difference between that and slandering someone. Okay? Yes, absolutely. And David just says, search me and know me. It’s like if we’re supposed to love the Lord, our God with all our heart, soul mind and strength, and he already fully knows us, there’s no reason for us to compartmentalize. We we talked, we talked a few months ago, like you said about um compartmentalizing our lives in sacred and secular and everything is sacred in our, you know, because we belong to the father

[0:49:00] Emily: and in you saying God fully knows us already. We still can hide parts of us. And I think that’s what it means to what Drew means in this post. When he says we need to stop striving, you know, striving after God that we can just be fully known by him and back to like friendship and vulnerability. I love deep friendship. Like, I don’t know, it might be selfish. I just don’t like the

[0:49:37] Lois: the chip surface. Yeah,

[0:49:39] Emily: yeah. But I realized that I have almost, uh, I don’t know, a desire for that deep friendship that I almost asked people for that before I’ve earned the right to be on a deep level in their life, you know, And so for asking them like for, you know, what are you struggling with or what’s, you know, what can I pray for you for asking for those deep things. Um, before maybe I’ve been vulnerable and open up and been that it’s almost similar. It makes me think of that with my relationship with God and this striving after him, just God show yourself to me almost this demanding way where yes, we do want to know God and not just know about him, but in our desire for that pursuing it so hard that we almost make it up to us. It’s our job to get to know him.

[0:50:44] Lois: Yeah, I think it’s our job to be to be available.

[0:50:49] Emily: I think that’s the point isn’t it? It’s our job to rest. It’s our job to be the bridge instead of demanding that God

[0:50:56] Lois: be the bridge.

[0:50:56] Emily: Show up. Do this for me. I have an agenda of when you should show up and what truth you should show me. And I really want to untwist this narrative. Could you get on it? And we kind of demand of God rather than like you said just being available and then maybe we’re the first ones that need to open up because he has made himself available and knowable but we might need to let him shine his light heard um the youth pastor at our church preached and he used a really funny analogy but a bacteria you know UV light can kill some bacteria.

[0:51:36] Lois: And it’s like

[0:51:37] Emily: what bugs you have inside your heart that need a U. V. Light on them. Like the God thinking God just opened up my heart. No me search me. And it’s this it’s a two way relationship. It’s not just a demanding God too show himself to us.

[0:52:01] Lois: Yeah and one of the things is we we know by scripture it’s biblical that we are fully known by God but he’s also not going to force himself on us. Exactly in our you know scripture talks about quenching the Holy spirit. I mean the sanctification process of of our growth where the gospel continues to infiltrate us continues to get in and allows us to know God more um happens because we give space for that. We give margin for that. We come away with him and and that’s not just like once a year in a sabbatical, a friend of mine reminded me of that this week. She’s like, you know, the Lord says, come to me, he says, come to me all, you are weary and are heavy laden and I will give you rest, you know, and he he calls us to come, well, he’s not talking about just once a week or a sabbatical or a this heat, he wants us to come and just spend time with him, uh any time during the day, right? And talking about these five parts of who we are. Um you know, when we go to church on Sundays were, you know, we we either walk in with our um genuine open heart to spiritual growth or we walk in with a mask on hoping nobody will notice the lack of spiritual growth from the past week. You know, there’s no middle ground. It’s one of the other, same with anything else, our intellect, our social, our physical, our emotional, some people are afraid to allow themselves to feel the emotions because they’re like, oh, it’s just feelings and you’re just trying to feel God. Well, I’m sorry, didn’t he create emotions in us. Um, so when he says that he wants all of us, he means all of us. You know. And I’m not saying that we should just constantly look for that emotional experience. But we also shouldn’t sit back and push back the Holy Spirit when our heart is being connected to God. And it is it does become emotional. But it this way there’s a there’s a book that I want to read that my pastor has read. I have not read yet but I have it on my list. It’s from the Cry of the Soul. It’s written by a theologian and a psychologist. So I think it’s going to be very interesting. But they were talking about our emotions and our relationship with God. And you use the word vulnerability earlier which reminded me of this quote in neglecting our intense emotions, We are false to ourselves and lose a wonderful opportunity to know God. We forget that change comes through brutal honesty and vulnerability before God.

[0:55:36] Emily: Mm That is such a good quote.

[0:55:38] Lois: Yeah. And my pastor called it false self and your true self. Like like an iceberg. You know iceberg is And he used that example like iceberg is just 10% I think they say 10 10% above the surface. So if yeah, So if an iceberg is 100 ft high and that’s 10% of it, that means it’s 1000 ft under the water. And that just blows my mind. So you know when we go back to do Deuteronomy and we go back to the passage in Mark, loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. We go to psalm 1 39 and The psalmist says search me and know me. We’re not just talking about the false self, the 100ft iceberg above the water. We’re talking about letting God infiltrate. He were already fully known by him but allowing him to infiltrate the other, You know, 1000 ft underneath the water. And when um Trey taylor used that illustration, it just hit me. It was just like he wants all of us and it’s not a legalistic check the list off. It’s right. Every every bit of me he wants he wants all of me really. And it’s hard for us to wrap our minds around that because we know ourselves. We’re like really You want this part of me to you sure about that.

[0:57:33] Emily: And we we

[0:57:34] Lois: tend to humanize him because we assume that somebody else like you said earlier, it’s going to judge us or reject us. Or so I think for me, I just Yeah, jesus once every part of you and he’s not going to force himself on you. He’s waiting for you to be vulnerable in every era of your life and just sit with him. Mm hmm. In that

[0:58:06] Emily: I think one of the things that makes this tricky when we’re healing our relationship with God and trying to pursue loving him is it can feel so easy, it’s so easy for it to feel like a checklist. But

[0:58:20] Lois: sure

[0:58:21] Emily: if I can put anything on y’all’s checklist this week, encourage you to go waste some time with God this week. Like he would a friend like you would just go hang out with your BFF and do whatever and I’m not I’m not minimizing the holiness and the magnitude of God, but just that idea of not having an agenda, not having a time crunch, but just go going whatever that looks like to you. I’m not going to throw out ideas but just go waste some time with God this week and

[0:59:06] Lois: yeah, let

[0:59:07] Emily: him in every

[0:59:08] Lois: part and and we know, you know um you’re not saying it’s a waste of time, so I don’t want anybody twisting those words, but but don’t have an agenda, don’t asking for anything just sit and say I’m just going to be still before you,

[0:59:29] Emily: yep, mm I’m so excited, I have to say this again. I am so excited about this trip. I’m so excited to see you in Missouri in just a handful of days and we can wander around ST louis and spend some time together and maybe waste some time with God.

[0:59:52] Lois: Absolutely, so good. Oh I have, I have to tell you as we close up, you know one of our hashtags is on twisting the narrative and if you haven’t seen the picture on social media of our podcast plant, you know, it had to be re potted so that it would continue to UNtwist and just before we recorded tonight, my dog’s knocked the pot over and broke it. So I have to go handle that. I have to go handle that now. But the thing that I noticed mhm was the fact that it was it’s already ready for a bigger pot. So the fact that the dogs broke it, mm hmm puts me in the position that I didn’t want to have to handle this before I leave town tomorrow. But it’s time to put it in a larger pot so it continue to it can continue to grow. Mhm. So in those spaces that we don’t always want to let God in so that we can continue to grow because it’s messy. It’s broken. It’s twisted. Let me tell you, he wants those spaces too.

[1:01:19] Emily: Amazing. Oh