[0:00:01] Emily: Hi there friend and welcome to this week’s episode of the R. F. W. P. Where we are seeking truth in finding God’s heart. I’m your host, Emily Louis and with me my co host,

[0:00:14] Lois: Lois Mcnair hey there.

[0:00:18] Emily: Uh okay. But before we get into anything I have a quote this week. I haven’t done a quote in a while.

[0:00:26] Lois: I do not done a quote in a while

[0:00:29] Emily: mm But I have one. All right, so this is this is by I have no idea how to say his name, Calisto swear. But the quote is it is not the task of Christianity to provide easy answers to every question but to make us progressively aware of mystery. God is not so much the object of our knowledge as the cause of our wonder,

[0:01:07] Lois: oh I love fine last mm heart wow. You know or and I love that because there’s a you know, I don’t have it in front of me to like break it down and go okay, how much of this is true? And you know, but just the it’s so much more than just knowing him. It’s it’s the wonder uh of who he is.

[0:01:40] Emily: And it’s especially more than knowing about him.

[0:01:44] Lois: Yeah. And I love the fact that it’s um wonder is one of our words.

[0:01:50] Emily: Exactly. That’s why I just had to put it on the R. F. W. P.

[0:01:55] Lois: Yeah I know the R. F. W. P. Is a lot of letters but

[0:02:03] Emily: it’s a

[0:02:04] Lois: mouthful. It’s a mouthful but just you know and it’s kind of a play we’ve said this before. It was kind of a play off of the RFP um but you know just the relational the faith talking about our faith in an honest transparent way um and then that the wonder and you cared that tonight I love them. Yeah and then purpose.

[0:02:34] Emily: So yeah we’re gonna do an episode on that soon to

[0:02:37] Lois: we are we are yeah but not tuned no.

[0:02:43] Emily: Oh what’s your micro joy?

[0:02:47] Lois: Okay my the micro joy that I really want to share, I can’t share online because it’s just too it’s wonderful but it’s just too um I guess it’s not appropriate for online before in your light in your minds like go all their that’s now what I’m talking about. Just probably went down a hole road that you

[0:03:13] Emily: did you did

[0:03:15] Lois: out

[0:03:17] Emily: edit that chunk out.

[0:03:21] Lois: No it needs to be spicy, you need to leave it in. Okay. Um So yeah so I got my my micro joy was the fact that this past weekend I finally got to go to a baby shower for my daughter in law for my son and daughter in law and you know with all the craziness and all the Marlowe coming three months early and everything else like that, you know just really had not had an opportunity to see Haley celebrated so that was really sweet. That’s

[0:03:59] Emily: good

[0:04:00] Lois: to be able to be up in Nashville with them and to see her get celebrated so by the way Marlowe update, she’s doing really well, she’s six weeks old now but it blows my mind because she’s six weeks old and yet she’s not technically do for another six weeks almost.

[0:04:24] Emily: That’s crazy. Yeah,

[0:04:26] Lois: So, but she’s growing, she’s up to £3 and 14 oz as of today.

[0:04:33] Emily: So almost, she’s almost a four,

[0:04:36] Lois: almost double her birth weight, which is crazy. So anyway, so everybody, thank you for praying for marlo, keep praying for Marleau and mom and dad and

[0:04:51] Emily: thanks awesome. I love that you the way you said that just, you got to see her celebrated because they’ve already been through a lot and she’s already Haley’s already an incredible mama and been at it for six weeks.

[0:05:06] Lois: So yes, that’s my micro Joy but I want to know what your micro joy this week is.

[0:05:12] Emily: Mm My micro joy is all the fall colors. I was talking to a friend this weekend about would you have picked fluorescent yellow and put it on trees or like the like the fiery color of red. Uh it’s just incredible. I was taking pictures yesterday. It’s just gorgeous and amazing and stunning. So that’s my micro joy.

[0:05:38] Lois: I love that you’re going to have to send me some of those pictures because we don’t get fall colors down here.

[0:05:47] Emily: Oh

[0:05:48] Lois: yeah, we don’t one, it never gets cold enough in the winter time for there to be truly fall colors and to um it just days warm and warm and then if the trees lose their leaves, they just fall off And then palm trees don’t change

[0:06:12] Emily: colors, right? No, they don’t.

[0:06:16] Lois: And the rest of them. I mean we get a little hint here and there. There little yellow but nobody has like fall colors. Right? Unless they spray paint their tree and they’re faking it.

[0:06:31] Emily: You sound bitter. Maybe faking your trees, y’all,

[0:06:37] Lois: You’ll be faking your trees. Hey, we talked about faking and posing a few weeks ago. So if you haven’t listened to that episode, you need to go listen to it and say yeah.

[0:06:47] Emily: And did you see my shirt?

[0:06:50] Lois: I saw your shirt wrapping

[0:06:52] Emily: merch. Yeah,

[0:06:54] Lois: you are your little pink microphone and your I’m not ripping merge tonight. I am wrapping the fact that we were in ST louis together.

[0:07:05] Emily: Ooh, that’s fun.

[0:07:07] Lois: But I’m not, I’m not ripping our merch. The back

[0:07:11] Emily: of this one says a new twisting the narrative that you had printed.

[0:07:16] Lois: So

[0:07:18] Emily: if you guys are like, I want some merge, go to sister seeker dot com slash shop and get yourself a T shirt or a hat. Maybe a onesie that says micro joy.

[0:07:34] Lois: Hey, I gave the onesie that you had made for marlo. I get Haley this past weekend silo has her little micro joy wednesay that she could still probably float in. But

[0:07:52] Emily: yes, she’ll get there.

[0:07:55] Lois: But it’s perfect. Micro joy for a micro preemie.

[0:07:58] Emily: Mm hmm Okay, so what are we talking about today?

[0:08:05] Lois: Decisions, decisions, decisions.

[0:08:09] Emily: That’s right. So have you heard how many decisions people make in a day?

[0:08:17] Lois: No, I haven’t. But I do know that there are days where I feel calm about it. And then there are days where like if I have to make one more decision about something, I’m gonna just start beating my head into the wall.

[0:08:33] Emily: Mhm. Yeah. My brain is done. I am done. I’m going to check out. I’m done. So I looked it up. Um because I couldn’t remember the exact numbers and they said moms make 1000 decisions in a day.

[0:08:52] Lois: That’s a lot.

[0:08:55] Emily: But then another study said, are you ready for this? Another study said 35,000 like conscious or unconscious decisions that our brains make every single day.

[0:09:13] Lois: I can’t even wrap my head around that Like 6:35,000 I guess in your subconscious mind. Like even when you’re sleeping and stuff, your brain is mm

[0:09:24] Emily: Yeah, that’s 1000 an hour. 1000 every 15 minutes

[0:09:32] Lois: Maybe there’s 35 hours in your day because you have four girls aged five and under at home. But there are not 35 hours in my

[0:09:44] Emily: Day. No, I don’t have 35

[0:09:49] Lois: hours. How well did you do in Math in school?

[0:09:54] Emily: Oh man. Not my strong suit.

[0:09:58] Lois: Yeah. And somebody who math is their strong suit. They’re sitting there going, well, there’s 24 hours a day. So you’ve got 35,000 decisions and 35 that means that there’s, you know, blah blah blah 350.23. Yeah, that’s not me. No, I cried, I cried through algebra until I got kicked out of class. So

[0:10:19] Emily: I made it through algebra one. I made it through the first half twice. Uh huh.

[0:10:27] Lois: Wait, you made it through the first half twice or you took it twice and made it through the first half? The second time.

[0:10:37] Emily: I don’t know how does it work? My mom let me do it again like the next year. So is that taking it twice? And she just wanted me to get as much as I could out of it.

[0:10:50] Lois: And how’s that working for you?

[0:10:53] Emily: Uh My my kids handed me the, what’s it called? The special calculator. Like texas instruments. Special calculator. And I was like, I don’t remember how to use all these buttons, but they thought it was a really cool cell phone and it was functioning better. Is that they were like, what does this do? Like, I don’t remember.

[0:11:18] Lois: Wait, are we going to talk about decisions tonight? And we’re just going to keep reminiscing about how bad we were at math. I

[0:11:27] Emily: guess we should get into it. Uh I think that’s what people are here for. Give the people what they want.

[0:11:33] Lois: Give the people what they want all the people by the way. If you haven’t subscribed to the channel like and subscribe, we need to do it path. We need to surpass the church split. Um, as long as it took them to get a certain number of subscribers. We, we want to beat them. It’s a challenge. So we need your help.

[0:11:58] Emily: We really do.

[0:12:00] Lois: Okay, so back to decisions, wow, that’s a lot of decisions a day. It makes my brain hurt. But I want to know what your background was in. Making decisions growing up good. Specifically, I think the influence of the church,

[0:12:23] Emily: right? I think the decisions, it was almost like just read your bible and pray and you’ll just kind of know what you should be doing and it will just be this. I don’t know. God will tell you what to do. But like no practical way to follow it. Just read your bible and pray was always the answer. But like, okay, how do I

[0:12:50] Lois: nearly a bad answer because no truth in that answer. Um, but just with church in particular, I think there are a lot of different ways that people have been taught the best way to make a decision. And then there are ways that people have been cause to fear making the wrong decision. Mm And so that’s kind of what we want to talk a little bit about tonight. Um and just kind of maybe take a little bit of that that burden off.

[0:13:34] Emily: Mm. It’s not a magic. So glad you said that

[0:13:37] Lois: way. Uh, ways that you know that we can be more um in tune as we make decisions.

[0:13:49] Emily: Yeah, I’d like to address the fear that you mentioned because in this process of learning to hear God’s voice and heal my relationship with him. One of the things that he has been working to heal in my life is my ability to make decisions. And one of the reasons decisions were hard was that fear? The fear of getting it wrong. Okay,

[0:14:16] Lois: I was going to say, what were you afraid of? But

[0:14:18] Emily: right and not just fear of getting it wrong. But when it came to big decisions, like what if I screw up my life forever? Or if I go down this way, will it be like I won’t ever be able to get back to, you know, God’s will or will he be, you know? Well, I’ve gone too far if I make this wrong decision. So there’s this like paralysis involved with making decisions.

[0:14:49] Lois: So the fear of getting it wrong, um missing basically God’s will for your life, just like this one, you know perfect will. Like you’re trying to hit the center of a target. Um and and I think I think a lot of people who were raised in legalistic, making sure that do you do everything right and check off all the boxes? Um God’s perfect will for your life versus God’s permissive will for your life versus you know, um God’s best uh and you won’t ever have God’s best. It puts people in a position that if I make the wrong decision, I’m going to put my life on the wrong trajectory for the rest of my life. And like you said, I will never be able to get back. Um it will never be, my story will never be redeemable. And I’m like, so we get one chance, we get one shot and if we mess it up, if we make the wrong decision, then you’re you’re walking like in a parallel version of God’s Will for your life and it’s it’s just tolerable, but you don’t actually get the best thing.

[0:16:19] Emily: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[0:16:23] Lois: Uh huh. Well um for those that are in situations where they’re still afraid to make decisions, what advice would you give them? Like how has that been being redeemed in you in your life?

[0:16:47] Emily: I think I just want to give you permission to have fun and make mistakes. Uh Try, I mean you can go so far as like try to fail today. Try to make just make decisions. I mean there are people that do that. Like did you fail today? They asked their kids that and their kids are like, yeah, this bubble by failed today and it’s just like this thing where they like it’s part of their family culture to make a mistake, but one of the things that I’ve been doing is just making quicker decisions. Like not, not overthinking it, like this is going to be the end of everything,

[0:17:30] Lois: right? Uh so I want to jump back to the kid thing for a minute because I think that’s super, super important because I was raised in an environment, I didn’t feel like I could make any mistakes. Like I couldn’t do anything wrong. So it it thwarted this whole perception of perfectionism, approval oriented, performance oriented everything had to be right. And then it gives you a sense of guilt when something doesn’t go right or you make a poor decision but you have to portray that you made an okay decision and then it just is ends up not being a healthy situation at all. And you don’t have a good report or a good relationship with your parents where you feel like you can be completely transparent Hey I messed up I made a mistake. You know, can we talk So um talk to that a little bit about allowing our kids to say, Hey, I failed or ourselves when we make decisions based on

[0:18:42] Emily: mm hmm. Yeah. Oh so I love that you phrased that when we make decisions or when we fail like when we’re talking to our kids or to ourselves because that same that same critic that would come out our kids. Why did you do that is Yes. Sometimes we are harsh towards people where we give ourselves grace but sometimes were harsh on ourselves to were like beating ourselves up. Why did you make that decision? I can’t believe. Uh and it’s that same inner dialogue, that same like harshness at um I don’t know, nastiness. And if at all possible, that first reaction, if it can be if you can’t empathize yet, but just oh, thank you for telling me. It’s a lot of times, my very first response, just thank you for telling me and we might have to have a conversation about the consequences of it,

[0:19:43] Lois: but

[0:19:45] Emily: just being thankful that they came to me and said something.

[0:19:48] Lois: Yeah, I think that’s super important for those who have Children. Um whether their adult Children or you have littles or you have teenagers. Um I think that’s important. Well, let’s turn this a little bit because we I want to focus in on um decisions of what God would have us do and just kind of what scripture says about that.

[0:20:19] Emily: Yeah,

[0:20:20] Lois: because a lot of people, uh not a lot of, I shouldn’t say a lot of people because but in certain environments church life, a lot of people were raised thinking that that the pastor made the decisions and the pastor had a direct line to what God wanted for somebody and they could not make a decision personally for something major in their lives if they didn’t run it by their pastor first because the pastor knew best. You know, I know there’s gotta be somebody else there that had to deal had to deal with that because I’ve heard it a lot from people that are recovering from being and heavy fundamental fundamentalist churches,

[0:21:13] Emily: right? Uh huh. So this makes me think of that. I used to do this with my husband. Have I shared this on the air before, because I’ve shared it with you.

[0:21:26] Lois: I don’t think you’ve shared it on the air before and maybe, you know, even if you have, it could be on an episode that, you know, whoever’s listening to this episode didn’t hear that. So yes, please share that.

[0:21:37] Emily: Okay, so, uh for lack of a better term, it’s basically taking responsibility for your own decisions. Because I was looking to my husband to make certain calls for me and be like, yes, we can do that, or yes, no, you can’t do that stuff like that. There was a decision. I mean, a friend texted me was like, hey, can you help? So and so I was like, sure I can give someone to a ride. And I asked my husband he’s like, I don’t know. And I was like, okay, well I’ll just text her and say you told me I can’t. And he’s like, no, you’re not gonna you’re not gonna say that. I said that. And I was like, well that’s true, I want to and you told me not to. And he’s like then you should do it if you think you’re supposed to do it. And I was like, wow, I should make that decision. Like it’s not just you to tell me what to do all the time anyway. So that was a huge point for me in realizing that it was up to me to make those decisions and not always just be looking to him to make every silly decision that he gave me the agency

[0:22:49] Lois: that I felt

[0:22:50] Emily: like I didn’t have from church was huge.

[0:22:54] Lois: Yeah. And that wasn’t really that long ago that that no, no, that that realization came to you. Um, and I think about that and how many women and honestly men as well because we’ve heard stories for men about how they’ve been stuck in a situation because they were still trying to impress or please their pastor. And so they would hold off on a decision based on that or if a female wanted to make a decision, well you can’t have permission to do that until you ask your husband. Then if your husband says yes or then your husband can come to me and I can tell you which if you’re listening and you weren’t raised in that type of legalistic environment. Um we know it sounds like a cult because it is, I mean it is there is no other way to to put that. Um Now I I was raised with a very strong mom. So that didn’t really fly much in our house anyway, which I’m thankful for. Um and anyway, but that’s on a but that’s on another note, but yeah, just like, I don’t know, it’s gonna sound really foreign to people who were not raised that way, but for those who were raised that way, um it’s it’s like trying to put them back and I know we’ve mentioned this before, but like um going to the high priest to, you know, absolve your sins or whatever and we have a direct lying to the father who helps us make our decisions. So anyway, I know it kind of took a risk and to get there, but I I do I do want to focus on that for a few minutes.

[0:24:56] Emily: Yeah, go ahead.

[0:24:57] Lois: Yeah. So, um we we’ve known the verse, a lot of, you know, the verse proverbs 35 and six and um so I want to hit that for just a second, I can find it. So trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding in all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths, or um some versions say in all your ways, acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. Uh and there are a lot of verses in proverbs that talk about um wisdom and decisions and making our paths straight and I think that in the christian world, we complicated way too much. We complicated. Yeah, we do, we make it harder than, than it should be because we’ve been, you know, a lot of people were taught this to know exactly what God and we’ve talked about God’s will before and like this, you know, big thing that it’s hard to catch. You know, like God’s sitting there with the fishing pole with the dollar at the end of it. Like the commercial is like got to be faster than that, you know, like it’s not how we find God’s will. I think it’s a good visual for you. Got uh psalm 32 8, I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with my eye upon you. You know, he’s there, he’s watching us, he’s you know, um Proverbs 1114 where there is no guidance of people falls but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.

[0:27:02] Emily: Mhm. That makes me think of James versus one or chapter one verse five and six where it talks about asking God for wisdom and it talks about how liberally or generously he gives wisdom because like you said, is it? It’s like over here, wait, is it over here? I’m not fast enough. No, he’s not trying to withhold it from us and sometimes we act like it’s this and sometimes sometimes it isn’t clear and we are to sit still and get quiet and listen and tune in and cut the noise, but he is trying to generously give us that wisdom in that direction.

[0:27:46] Lois: Yeah. And for those of you that want that references James 15, if any of you lacks wisdom um let him ask of God who gives like you said generously or liberally um hmm, Proverbs uh 1522 without council plans fail. But with many advisors, they succeed Philippians 4 6 and seven. Don’t be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in christ jesus. Mhm And the reason I give those verses is because and and that I feel like we complicate and I’m trying to get to another thing on my phone um that we, we tend to complicate decision making. Now I realize that there are heavy, heavy decisions that people have to make. Um I’m not talking about those critical in the moment, you know, we had to make a decision when my dad passed away, do we leave him on life support? Do we unplug him? Uh you know, uh we’re, I’m not making, we’re not making light of those decisions at all as far as complicated because there are heavy, heavy decisions and we understand that um but several years ago, bobby and I went through a study by Henry Blackerby have actually been through it twice and people may know this study, but it’s experiencing God by Henry Blackerby and and like I said there’s earlier, like there’s not a magic formula um in decision making, but scripture does give us a lot of guidance when it comes to making decisions. Um, one of the things, you know, he talks about it as the seven realities of um, to help, you know God by experience and decisions in our lives. Bring about experience, right? And sometimes because of another experience, we will or will not make a decision one way or another. But Henry black hole of that in his book says God is always at work around you. That’s the first truth God pursues a continuing love relationship with you that is real and personal. So first we have God, God is always at work around us. He’s just asking us to join him. So sometimes when we were like, oh, do I make this decision to step into, you know, to become a missionary or or do this or do that, God’s at work. And if we’re, if we’re leaning towards him and allowing his pursuit of that relationship with us, we’re not going to just all of a sudden make some crazy wrong decision. three, God invites us to join him in his work for God speaks by the Holy Spirit through the bible prayer circumstances and believers to reveal himself his purposes and his ways he uses in scripture. He even uses ungodly kings for his purpose and for walking in those decisions. Um, And then uh, number five, he says, let me get to the next screen. God’s invitation for us to join him can lead to a crisis of belief, um, that requires faith and action. So we’re talking about the bigger decisions here. Sometimes it leads us to a crisis of belief. Like, do you really, you really want me to do this? And are you really am I really supposed to step in here and um, but he’s always there, we might have to make major adjustments in our life to join him and what he’s doing. Um, and then the last one you come to know God by experiencing God as you obey him and he accomplishes his work through you. So here this is talking a little bit more about like the bigger decisions about what to do in life. Um, maybe not necessarily the daily decisions, but I love the fact that, and I do believe this and I know some people don’t believe that the Holy Spirit still speaks to us, but the Holy Spirit does speak to us. And if you’ve been raised in a situation where that’s been misused or abused, I can understand why you would have push back on that. Um, if you’ve been in a situation where um, church leaders manipulated the terminology or the phrase God told me to tell you, um, you know,

[0:33:31] Emily: it’s so bad.

[0:33:33] Lois: I mean there have been times where I have felt very, very impressed by the Holy Spirit to walk over to somebody that I didn’t know and just pray over them and just I just want you to know God loves you and you know you can speak life into people and I’m not negating the times that you know, something was shared with me um that I just feel like the Lord wants me to tell you, you know such and we have the Holy Spirit living in us, so we’re either going to feel an immediate connection the Holy Spirit as a believer or we’re going to have a check in our spirit, you know um I know I’m kind of getting on a different thing that when we’re talking about making decisions, those things are important, you know, to know what the Holy Spirit is sharing with us.

[0:34:29] Emily: Yeah, so on that kind of same line I guess I have some practical things to that I think people know, but sometimes we forget so that one of the things is prayer is huge, asking God but also not just talking, being still and listening back, you know, listening for that because we, we treat prayer like God’s voice mail a lot of times or like God, like we’re the only ones talking and we don’t give him space to speak back. So prayer and being still and of course getting counsel are huge when we’re making those big decisions

[0:35:15] Lois: and scripture, if scripture is what we believe that it is and it is alive and well in its you know the sword and that every time you open it, it is still God’s word and speaking to you then yes, we need to be in God’s word, those decisions,

[0:35:40] Emily: I guess I skipped that one, didn’t I?

[0:35:42] Lois: No, I’m just, I’m just jumping in with it. Um, and the, the council where proverbs is talking about wise counsel and stuff, obviously we have to choose wisely. The people that we counsel with um, in a situation where, hey, I’m just um, praying about this, thinking about this kind of feeling the Lord leading me in this direction. You don’t, you don’t want to fall into a few traps. You don’t want to fall into the trap of um, I want to go to somebody that I know is going to agree with me because maybe there’s a little check and I’m not really sure if I’m supposed to do this, but if I go to so, and so they’ll agree with me and then I can do this or you don’t want to fall into the other trap where you um already know what God’s ask you to do and you’re gonna go because there’s still a part of you that needs man’s approval.

[0:36:46] Emily: If God’s asked me

[0:36:47] Lois: to do it. If he’s saying, hey, let’s do this, you don’t need man’s approval to do that. No. You know, sometimes even well meaning people will discourage you to do what God is calling you to do,

[0:37:03] Emily: right? Oh, that’s so good. I have a question for you. I’m curious if you ever heard this. But uh I’m curious how you would kind of take it apart to so back to like the fear in decision making, like the analysis paralysis kind of decision. And I heard this saying that if the devil can’t hold you back from doing what you’re supposed to be doing, he’ll push you out past God. Did you ever hear that?

[0:37:39] Lois: No, not in that, not in that phrase. I haven’t heard that like that, wow, okay. Say that one more time I process that

[0:37:51] Emily: if the devil can’t hold you back from doing what you’re supposed to be doing, he will just push you out too fast out ahead of God. And it was a way it was absolutely used as a spiritually manipulative thing to keep people

[0:38:09] Lois: stuck. Yeah, it was taking for super manipulative, super manipulate. Yeah. First of all, First of all, for a believer who has accepted christ as their savior and the finished work on the cross. And and they have christ in their life, you have the holy spirit living inside of you alive and well breathing. And um satan can only do what the father has allowed him, you know like uh job satan asked to sift job pretty much. Um but satan he has, he does not have power over us that we don’t allow him, he doesn’t have a foothold on us unless we allow it, he doesn’t have a stronghold on us unless we allow it. If if quote unquote satan can push us past God one, we’re negating the work on the cross and two, that’s our own attitude and decision where we’ve allowed ourselves to be pulled there. But satan can’t ever push us past God. That’s that’s a decision that we make based on who were listening to. Does that make sense?

[0:39:37] Emily: That’s good. It was it was so spot on because I think I still, I think we can rush things like we can be like, okay God, we want this now and maybe we can push things into place that are, you know, we can force things to happen that maybe aren’t ready to happen yet, but to live in that fear keeps us stuck and keeps us from growing and changing and making the mistakes.

[0:40:07] Lois: Yeah, I think that from Yeah, I think the fear from that and sure we can not be patient and wait on what God has for us. That’s easy for any of us to do when we when we get selfish or when we get in the flesh and we’re like, we make a plan and we’re like, okay, God bless what I’ve already decided to do. Sure we can all do that. But I think the fear for some comes in from the fact that um like if we make the wrong decision, if we make a poor decision and you know, we end up taking a path, we really don’t need to be taken and maybe it’s just a business decision or this or that um it doesn’t mean that at the end of that path as we make the realization of it and move over the gods sitting there going, I told you, you see, I told you, you know, and now you’re going to have my second best the rest of your life because you know, so yeah its extremes. But

[0:41:19] Emily: anyway it

[0:41:20] Lois: is, I don’t know if that makes,

[0:41:21] Emily: I’m glad you spoke in

[0:41:23] Lois: decisions. People make decisions all the time. You look at you look at roof in scripture, ruth intentionally made the decision to go with her mother in law to go with Naomi. You know what was on the other side of that. She didn’t know that that story was going to be used to remind us that we have a kinsman redeemer, you know? Um by by the story of of boaz. She didn’t know any of that. She made a decision that I believe obviously was influenced by God’s sovereignty in her life because she wasn’t a believer. But she chose to say to Naomi, I want your God to be my God, where you go, I will go where you die, I will die. Your people will be my people, your God will be my God. And she made that decision, you know, by God drawing her to himself, but I think we’re going to get stuck in decisions. Is that like you said earlier, um here’s the deal, and we’ve talked about God’s will before a little bit, I believe if we’re sitting in that that God pursues and continually, I love how Henry Blackerby words that he continually pursues a love relationship with us, it’s not like he pursued us, okay, you’re saved, okay, I got you, I got to go take care of somebody else continually pursues us, and if we’re walking in that if we’re arresting in that that continual pursuit of relationship with him and his relating with us, then those daily decisions were already we’re already in the thought process that we, that we want to walk well with the father, we’re not going to make some huge left turn jiang key decision. It just that’s not how our relationship with him works. So I know we’re talking kind of like, all kinds of decisions conversation tonight, but

[0:43:42] Emily: yeah, it is kind of uh a friend of mine started doing this in her daily life as she was trying to get more in tune with God’s voice. She would you know how we talk to ourselves throughout the day, like, okay, what should I do next, or what should I have for lunch, or you know, what should I go there first, or should I? Oh should I wait till tomorrow? And she started directing those questions to God instead of inward, just as a as an outward like, okay, I’m going to remember and almost pretend because at first it might feel funny like are you sure? But start asking those questions towards God instead of towards yourself and watch him guide and direct and answer you as you allow him to.

[0:44:41] Lois: Yeah. So I want to ask you a question Okay, what do you what do you say to the christian who has either been so manipulated growing up or has not been allowed to make their own decisions even as an adult um feeling like they would be completely judged for this decision or that. What do you what do you say to um someone who’s trying to heal from that and someone who’s trying to learn what it means to hear God’s voice for yourself because I know that’s something you felt like you walked through to just begin to hear from the Lord for yourself.

[0:45:41] Emily: Right. Another thing like I said at the very beginning when everything is pretty cut and dried and there’s a formula and there’s like you just read your bible and pray and you follow this list and like everything falls into place right? Um you feel like you don’t even know how to access, getting your questions answered are making those decisions for yourself. Um you might not even know what you prefer or like um that’s something that’s kind of a side note a rabbit trail but something I mentioned to you like what do you even want to do? Uh huh you’re allowed that and sometimes we act like we’re not even allowed that and we get it into like what’s the term asceticism? Is that the right word? Yeah. Where like you act like you’re not allowed to enjoy anything

[0:46:36] Lois: that’s above my pay grade. So I’ll have to look that word up after.

[0:46:40] Emily: Yeah. So I know that you’re allowed to enjoy something. You don’t have to pick the like the hardest one because I remember feeling like that okay, the hardest one must be more holy or something. But in healing back to kind of your second question about healing your um ability to hear the holy spirit’s voice for yourself. Like I said talk to him or I meant I made a comment about leaving, got a voice mail and that I got from a friend named Katie Nube and she also does the same practice where she journals her prayers out and as you’re praying maybe in italics or in cursive, right? What you think God is answering back to you? And it’s, it’s like a spiritual practice. We build that little muscle that feels so weak and start to hear God’s voice instead of just putting it out there. Did I answer the question?

[0:47:51] Lois: Yeah, I think so. I think just

[0:47:53] Emily: around. Yeah.

[0:47:55] Lois: But each person, I think I think our whole episode tonight has been a little bit round about um in the decision making, but if I, if I had to like put it in a nutshell, it really does go back to just a few verses and again I understand that there are decisions that are just man, extremely difficult and decisions like I hope that I never have to make again or some of them, I hope I never ever have to make.

[0:48:33] Emily: Mm hmm. Yes.

[0:48:35] Lois: But I do have to say, you know, like I said, it’s there’s not necessarily a formula or a magic but there is a seeking him allowing him to continue to pursue the relationship with you Proverbs 3, 5 and six, trusting in the Lord with all of our heart and not leaning on our own understanding in all our ways, acknowledge him and he will direct our paths. So really whether it’s a small decision that you’re hesitant about or it’s a larger decision going to the Lord first, that’s what we’re called to do. We have a tendency to humanly go to each other burst and then as a last resort.

[0:49:36] Emily: Yeah, we do.

[0:49:40] Lois: You know. Um but in the little dailies, if if you’re walking with the Lord um trust that he is impressing upon you the right decisions,

[0:49:59] Emily: right, what you said about um like that, trusting, trusting him, it makes me think of in genesis where Abraham is told to go out and he went out not knowing like he left and he didn’t have all the answers and the biggest nugget of wisdom that I got from a series on making decisions that carry Schmidt preached was that if The answer in front of you was 100% like you knew how it was going to turn out you were, I mean, not sometimes we just are confident, we have absolute piece, but if every decision was like that, where would our faith b because our faith, we don’t have faith blindly. We have faith that’s mixed with uh I I hope this is the right decision. This faith in this is what God is telling me to do. But I don’t know how this is all going to turn out. And that’s where the trusting comes in is where we don’t have all the answers. And even the people around us might not have all the answers to give us because we’re just following God. Right?

[0:51:23] Lois: And on that note, there’s two things when you said, the people around us may not have all the answers for those of you have been raised in environments where you were told that the people around you, your church leaders or whatever have all the answers. I’m just going to tell you that they don’t have some special seat on some committee somewhere for God where they get all the answers first and then they have parted them to you. It doesn’t work that way. Each one of us as believers. It’s a part of the priesthood of the believer, you know? And so even in decision making, it’s based on that personal relationship with the Lord. So see Kim 1st see kim Wally maybe found Solomon asked for wisdom. So just talk to Lord kind of struggling this decision, you know, but then don’t be afraid to go ahead and act on the decision. I mean God may give you two or three or four different opportunities that are all equally um, a blessing from him or will be a blessing to him and bring glory to him. And it’s not like you have to go, oh no, you know if I what if I choose door one and its door three like the old you know the price is right, you know like uh, you know indoor one, you end up choosing door three but door one was the brand new, You know escalate and door three, you know was the you open it and it’s like you know a clown car. That’s not how God. Right.

[0:53:25] Emily: Mm hmm That’s good. That’s a good word,

[0:53:31] Lois: wow. We have just kind of really we’ve the path of decisions but I pray that there’s a a few nuggets that you can just take away that will allow you to rest in the decisions that you’re making with the Lord that will allow you to not have fear in the decisions that you make, that he’s put in your life and um, and just to realize that as a believer that God is at work like Henry Blackerby says God’s at work all around us and he’s asking us to join him in that work whether it’s a walking across the street and loving on your neighbor by you know giving giving them something that you feel like would bless

[0:54:26] Emily: them.

[0:54:27] Lois: The major move across the United States of America or to another country. He’s guiding us in all of it and you know, doesn’t want us to fear that um he wants us to trust, you know like like tonight we had to decide if we were going to keep recording because we kept having technical issues and it was created me

[0:54:56] Emily: so bad,

[0:54:57] Lois: it was so bad and there might even be some glitches so you’re just gonna have to bear with us. But we were like what do we do? You know, what do we do? Do we do we record another night or we just keep plugging through and then just got tickled because like we’re literally having to make a decision on the episode where we’re trying to talk about decisions so maybe if the episode well play, it’s a little 80 HD it’s it’s probably my

[0:55:25] Emily: fault. No we are going to stand firm on this. It was the text fault. It is always, you can always blame the technology

[0:55:36] Lois: but let me just encourage you as we close um we can all make decisions um irrationally, we can all make emotional decisions, we can all make decisions based on our pride, you know, getting into flesh about something, please give yourself grace in those moments and then you know, let’s just encourage each other honestly to to do better the next time. You know that next decision, Go to God 1st pray about it, go to scripture. If you need the council of friends, make sure it’s a healthy group of people um and not just somebody that’s gonna tell you what you want to hear or you know, so even though there’s not a formula, there is a formula because God wants what’s best for you and he has given us a mind and a will and a spirit um to walk in the decision making with him, whatever. We’re deciding in our lives whether it’s a blessing or a small

[0:57:05] Emily: Uh huh I want to repeat what you just said. God wants what’s best for you. Yeah, that’s so beautiful. I think a lot of us are like does he really, he really, really does well. He really does

[0:57:24] Lois: hard sometimes. That’s hard. That’s hard when you’re walking through traumatic things, you’re like really you want what’s best for me because I’m not feeling that vibe, you know? But that that’s really an an entirely different topic about evil being in the world and that’s not what God intended initially. And yes, he knew we were going to choose poorly at the beginning. But um like I said, that’s a whole that’s a whole different episode. But yes, God does I want what’s best for us. And he’s not gonna hit you over the head with a baseball bat. If you make the wrong decision, he may get your attention lovingly nudge. You, you know, little bumper car action. But he does, it’s scripture even says if God is for us, who can be against us Now, I understand that in the context, that was for a specific thing. But the truth of the verse still stands. He is for you. He does want you to make wise decisions. And if you’re walking with him, don’t make it more complicated than it is.

[0:58:50] Emily: Mm hmm, yep. Mhm. And before we go completely, we have our sponsor to shout out for this week’s episode, which is josh over at loot box creative. He has a team of experts with decades of experience in creating multimedia for ministries and their system allows any size church to step into multimedia ministry without spending tens of thousands on creative staff and gear, helping them to Stewart their congregations money wisely. And he says, it’s not about being trendy, it’s about meeting people where they are at, it’s about hitting culture head on and redeeming it for a worthy message. So if your ministry or your team needs some support in that area. Hit up, josh over at loot box creative and he can set you up with some amazing stuff.

[0:59:50] Lois: I love that. Thanks josh. Yeah.

[0:59:55] Emily: And to all of our listeners, I hope you have an awesome week. Thanks for hanging out with

[1:00:00] Lois: us. Yes, and make the best decisions.